Here we go again ... the birthday is passed, everything seemed to go well ... but ... it was only apparent depression was hidden and there was climbing within me to return to the surface after a certain time before the birthday ... we had almost made it but I was stronger since last week ... but do not take it anymore ... since last Thursday, not I know but I can not fight it ... depression is stronger than me ... and so for five days is a living hell ... semi work to the public under these conditions is awful ... having to smile every second, while would like just cry ... having to be of interest to the words of people who blather nonsense for you and maybe respond in kind ... it's really terrible. I just want to scream. Even yesterday afternoon, while I was doing the same things every single day, I suddenly felt like crying and I could not work ... well, live well, it's horrible. Monday night I spent a nice evening with two of my friends ... but it could be a beautiful evening, enjoy an evening ... but I really unlined one of my best performances to look like a girl serena credible. Should I talk with my best friends, but I do it because they too have their quarrels and I will not weigh on me ... let alone in the house, the atmosphere is certainly not the ideal for talking about my depression. And so, no ... I'm sick and shot forward, expecting that this time passes ... Sunday I expect a full day out with my best friend ... I pray that the day that make me truly born again ... that will sweep away all this unease ... Why deal with the parties in this state of mind ... oh God, I will not even think about it ..... !
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